My Best Everything Read online

  “Sorry,” I said. “I thought you were someone else.”

  “Yeah?” His eyes traveled over me. “You sure you don’t want me?”

  Peanut was beside him, wearing his mirrored sunglasses even in the dark. He and their group of friends laughed as I blushed and stepped back, trying to regain my footing.

  “What’s going on, fellows?” Bucky intervened.

  “Just having fun,” Seth said. “You interested in something?”

  “Nah, man. Gotta get these girls home.”

  “Is it bedtime already?” Seth’s eyes bored into me.

  The way you and he look almost alike but also completely different is a mind twist.

  Roni sang as we stumbled back to Bucky’s truck. Once there, I said, “Roni, I really think you should call Grungie.” It felt desperate and crucial that she do this. “It’s like what Ollie said. You can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket. Tell her, Bucky.”

  “I’m not going to make her call if she doesn’t want to.”

  “I am.” I grabbed her phone, where I knew she’d programmed Grungie’s number.

  “No, Lulu,” said Roni. Then, “Yes. Call.”

  Grungie answered with his deep, throaty voice. “Yeah?”

  Roni grabbed the phone. “Hi, Grungie. This is Roni McAllister.…”

  While she talked, I watched the river between the trees. The river is the one part of Dale that moves. It’s a sign of hope and something better in the great beyond. The moon shone on the river, all silvery shimmer, the water rushing on while the moonlight stayed in one place. The moon couldn’t let go and roll along with the current.

  Roni hung up and stared at me, mouth wide open. “He wants me to sing with them!”

  All of a sudden, we’d traded places, me and Roni. She was the river and I was the moon.

  Except I had a plan.

  7

  Roni giggled and hummed as Bucky drove us down the dark road. “We should’ve made you drink a long time ago, Lulu-bird. You are so fun with a buzz. Beau Queen wanted to talk to you until you had to latch on to Patrick James.”

  “Bad habit,” I said.

  “And who was that other guy?” asked Roni.

  Bucky said, “Seth Malone. Mason’s cousin.”

  “Really?” She turned around and looked at me. “Did you know that?”

  I shook my head, unsure what I thought.

  A few miles later I said, “You think Seth would have sold us moonshine?”

  “I think he was offering something else,” said Bucky. “He deals everything.”

  I processed that a minute, then said, “I bet people would have bought moonshine if someone was selling it.”

  “Only idiots.”

  “Well, there were a lot of idiots there,” I said.

  “True fact,” said Bucky. “Most people are, at least some of the time.”

  I asked, “What’s wrong with moonshine? Why is it illegal anyway? Is it only because it’s strong?”

  “It’s not regulated. You don’t know what you’re getting,” said Bucky. “Might be you’re drinking radiator juice or rubbing alcohol.”

  “But people pay for it?”

  “I thought we already established the idiot issue.”

  “If it’s made right, then it’s no more dangerous than regular liquor, right?” I persisted.

  “What’s your point, Lulu? Or are you obsessing for the hell of it?”

  “I think we should make and sell moonshine,” I said.

  Bucky laughed. “And how exactly are we going to do that?”

  “Drive by the junkyard,” I said. “I want to show you something.”

  “Ooh, Lulu has a date with Dawg,” Roni teased.

  Twenty minutes later we were standing outside Sal’s by the impound fence, peering in at the confiscated still.

  One of the junkyard cats sat on top of the metal cylinder, his glowing eyes staring out at us. “Hi, kitty,” said Roni.

  “What are we looking at?” asked Bucky.

  “That’s a still. For making liquor.” I took a deep breath, then said, “I think we should take it.”

  “You are so much drunker than I thought,” said Bucky.

  “I’m serious. You know I need money. But can either of you say you have plenty?” I went on, in a rush. “I read about it online. Did you know that some moonshiners make hundreds of thousands of dollars in one summer?”

  Roni turned around. “Seriously?”

  “Yep. And it’s made from ordinary stuff. Corn, sugar, yeast. It’s like cooking.”

  “Maybe if you know how to use that thing,” said Bucky.

  “There are directions on the Internet.”

  “It’s illegal.”

  “It’s not that bad,” said Roni. “It’s better than making meth.”

  I’m still surprised how quickly she jumped on my idea. Maybe her subconscious had tapped into mine. One of our mind-meld moments.

  “We could get married, Bucky,” said Roni. “We wouldn’t have to wait until you’re done with college. We could buy a cute little house and…”

  “We won’t enjoy it much if we’re both in jail,” said Bucky. “Lulu, I know you think your future has blown all to pieces, but this isn’t the answer. This isn’t something done on a whim. There’s planning to do. Research to be done. You need a business plan.” It might sound like he was trying to talk me out of it, but actually, Bucky was luring himself in with the challenge.

  “Let’s take it,” I said. “We don’t have to actually do anything with it if we don’t want to. We can think about it. Do our research.”

  “Where would we even put that thing?”

  I turned to Roni. “What about your land?”

  Roni’s grandpa had given her five acres as a graduation present. The lot was on the outer edge of Dale, at the spot where the hills meet the mountain. She’d laughed at the deed, but I’d known it would matter to her someday. She nodded slowly. “That could work. That could actually work.”

  “Damn, Lulu. You’ve been thinking about this.” I don’t know whether Bucky was more impressed or shocked.

  He was right, I had been thinking. And the more I’d thought about it, the more I’d decided a thriving moonshine market was a perfect example of what was wrong with Dale. The fact that people could get rich by doing something illegal and dangerous, making something that would most likely only cause more danger and illegal somethings, was the exact kind of negative cycle I had to avoid. I thought I was better than that. I was sure I’d break the cycle and escape.

  Roni said, “I don’t feel right stealing from Sal.”

  “We’re only borrowing it. Sal won’t lose anything. He gets paid for storing it. We’ll store it for him off-site. We can always bring it back. Maybe we’ll even pay him a cut.”

  Roni clapped her hands together. “What do you think, Bucky?”

  “I think you’re both drunk,” said Bucky. “That’s the problem.”

  “No,” I said. “The problem is that you aren’t.”

  Roni went back to his truck. She slipped her hand under the passenger seat and pulled out a silver flask. She waved it in his face. He stared at her a full minute before he grabbed it and took a swig. He handed it back. “You girls have some too. That way you won’t feel it as much when you get shot.”

  It was way too easy.

  Roni had the key on her key chain, since sometimes we open for Sal. Dawg lives on-site in his trailer near the back, but he doesn’t run the office or handle the money. She unlocked the gate, then we swung it back, nice and slow to keep it from screeching.

  The junkyard looked spooky in the dark. Hulks of cars loomed around us as we crept toward our destiny. A rat scurried across the path in front of me. I squeaked—or maybe it was more of a shriek—and then the cat leaped from the top of the still and pounced. The rat shrieked louder than I had. Roni and I grabbed hands and muffled our half scream–half giggle into each other’s shoulders.

  The still sat perc
hed on the trailer it came in on. Like it was waiting for us to come along and give it a ride. See what I mean that it was all too easy? No way could we have moved it without the trailer. There was even a pathway for us to wheel it—Roni pulling and Bucky and I pushing from the back, my flip-flops slipping all the while in the soft dirt—right up to Bucky’s truck.

  Roni said, “It’s too obvious something’s missing.”

  Even though I hadn’t logged it in the inventory, a hole in the yard would make Sal and the Muscles go looking for whatever wasn’t there. We left Bucky messing around with hitching the trailer to his truck, cussing all the while, and crept back into the lot. My skin felt itchy, and my blood rushed around in every direction. “Give me another swig of that stuff.”

  Roni handed me the flask. “You’re so crazy when you drink.”

  I guess I liked that.

  Drunken determination and adrenaline can make up for actual strength. Roni and I pushed three metal barrels into the still’s vacated place. If someone went looking for it specifically, it’d be pretty clear the still was missing, but at least the hole wouldn’t be screaming for attention.

  I’d just clinked the gate shut when Dawg opened his trailer door. A flash of light shone across the yard as he pointed a flashlight our way. He held a shotgun too.

  “Shit,” said Roni, ducking.

  I could hear Bucky panting a few feet to my left. I knew Dawg could see his truck, but I hoped the trailer was low enough to be hidden by the rows of cars in front of the fence.

  It was too late for me to hide. I called out, “Hey, Dawg. It’s me, Lulu.” I moved a few steps to my right, hoping to keep his eyes in a different direction.

  “Lulu?” The element of surprise must have been on my side.

  “How ya doing tonight?” I stood close to the fence, waving. “I came by to feed the cats.”

  Roni giggled at my knees.

  “They don’t need feeding,” said Dawg. “They got rats. That’s the point of ’em.”

  “Really? You think that’s enough?”

  “Keep talking,” Bucky murmured from the shadows. “I almost got this.”

  I called out, “Are you sure rats are good for cats?”

  “That’s what cats eat.”

  “Well, I think maybe they need some other food too. What if they eat all the rats? Or what if the rats are dirty or have the plague or, I wonder if…”

  “Done,” grunted Bucky.

  “Well, all right, Dawg. If you’re sure those kitties are okay, I’ll be on my way. See ya soon.” I turned in the opposite direction from the truck. I forced myself to stroll.

  A few minutes later I heard Dawg’s door shut, but I kept walking. The truck’s engine started, and then, a minute later, Bucky and Roni stopped in the road beside me. I jumped in.

  “Mother-of-a-heart-attack,” said Roni. “I thought you were going to get shot.”

  “Nah,” I said. “Dawg’s my honey.”

  Roni shrieked, “I knew it. You want him, don’t you? You’re such a Jezebel. I saw you sticking out your boobs for him.”

  “Poor Jezebel is so misunderstood!” Roni and I melted into hysterical laughter. It was an old joke going back to when Roni got kicked out of Sunday school in seventh grade. Methodists don’t have a sense of humor.

  “Stop talking about Lulu’s boobs and tell me where the hell I’m going,” said Bucky. “I can’t exactly drive around with this thing sticking out my ass.”

  We sat silent. He was right. We’d already used up a fair amount of luck.

  “In case you forgot, this is illegal paraphernalia,” said Bucky. “Not to mention stolen.”

  “We’re only borrowing it,” I insisted.

  We drove up the eastern fire road. Roni’s grandpa Joe used to take us hiking there. We’d play in the stream and collect rhododendron vines to make fairy crowns.

  Roni and I watched Bucky unhitch the trailer, and then we all helped push it off the dirt road and into the shadows. “We’ll hide it better in the daylight,” said Bucky. “But this is good enough for now.”

  “You sure you’re okay with this?” I asked Roni. “What if your grandpa finds it?”

  “He never comes up here anymore. But what if someone else steals it?”

  That struck me as hilarious. Bucky laughed too.

  “What? This could be Lulu’s school money.” Roni patted it, sending off muffled echoes.

  “Or your house,” I said.

  “You think I could buy some new boots too?” asked Roni.

  Then we dragged a bunch of branches over our hopes for the future.

  8

  The next morning we returned to the scene of the crime. At work in the junkyard trailer, I felt tired yet wired, and completely-all-over-jumpy nervous about stealing that still. Every time Sal came near, I caught my breath and avoided looking at Roni. I waited for him to start ranting and raving about the theft. Dawg is a man of few words, so unless he was asked directly, I didn’t think he’d bring up the fact he’d seen me.

  At one point I said to Roni, “If we can get through today with no one noticing it’s missing, then we’ll be good. They won’t know for sure when it disappeared, and it’ll be harder to pin on us.”

  Sal burst into the trailer as Roni said, “I’m crazy nervous.”

  “What are you nervous about, Veronica?” he boomed.

  “I have my first practice with Lullaby Breaker this afternoon,” said Roni. Her quick cover-up was the actual truth. Or maybe that’s what she meant all along.

  It was a fortunately loud and busy day. The crane swung and the crusher ran for hours. We had a series of deliveries, and the Muscles stayed busy arranging and rearranging the lot. Not one person mentioned the missing still.

  The only moment of true weirdness was when Dawg appeared at the service window. I said, “Hey, Dawg,” while ignoring Roni’s kissing noises behind me.

  He grunted and slipped a tattered kitty calendar beneath the bars. Then disappeared.

  Roni laughed for at least ten minutes.

  Bucky showed up on his way to work. “I see they haven’t hauled you criminals off to jail yet.”

  “Nope,” said Roni. “But Dawg gave Lulu a present. She’s such a Jezebel.”

  “So misunderstood,” I said automatically.

  Bucky asked, “Did Dawg give you the still manual?”

  “Do you think there is one?” I asked.

  Bucky rolled his eyes. “No, Lulu. I do not think there is a manual for how to break the law.”

  Roni frowned. “Are you saying we can’t do it?”

  “Hell no,” he said. “I hauled that thing outta here. I’m not dragging it back. It’s not like you need to be some kind of genius to make moonshine. We’ll figure this out.”

  I was the one who brought you up. “What do you think about Mason?”

  Bucky raised one eyebrow. “I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about Mason.”

  “Randy says Mason’s family are some of the best shiners around.”

  “Shiners? Who are you?” Bucky laughed, and Roni joined him.

  I persisted. “Will you ask him to help us?”

  Bucky spit in the dirt. Then said, “Maybe. If it comes up. But we gotta watch our mouths about this thing.”

  Roni said, “We need a code word. So no one else knows what we’re talking about.”

  I sighed. “It won’t matter if we can’t figure out how to run it.”

  “Like you’d ever give up that easy.” She laughed, then pointed at me, her eyes wide and bright. “Jezebel.”

  I rolled my eyes. “All right, all right. I confess. Dawg is my boyfriend.”

  “You girls have ADD,” said Bucky.

  “No,” said Roni. “Well, maybe. But I meant that’s the code name. For the you-know-what.”

  So that’s how Aunt Jezebel got her name. So misunderstood.

  We didn’t even understand how to put her together.

  Daddy came home for a few days. The ten
sion was thick between us. No chatty family dinners, no mention of daddy-daughter dates. He hadn’t magically found my tuition money, so I had nothing to say. I wandered from room to room ignoring him while my mind wandered wildly around my skull. I’d had this great idea about making moonshine and stealing the still and then… I couldn’t make the leap to imagine how that would actually happen.

  It didn’t help that Bucky was working all the time and Roni was caught up in singing with Lullaby Breaker. She might have started out unsure, but Grungie didn’t have any doubts. She was in. They even wanted her to sing with them at the Concert on the Green for the Fourth of July. She had two weeks to learn fifteen songs. Of course she knew most of them already.

  Then, because it was Sunday, Daddy and I piled in the car and drove to Saint Jude’s. The stifling silence made me wish I’d learned how to drive a long time ago. Daddy and Mom should have found someone to teach me. Someone calm, who spoke clear and easy. Someone unflappable. Someone like you.

  Sitting in the wooden pew, I tried to listen to Father Mick. But as sweat pooled behind my knees and trickled from my neck to the base of my spine, making my sundress damp and wrinkled, my thoughts meandered out to the woods, where I wanted to be starting a moonshine business. Guilt kept throwing me back in the pew with Daddy.

  After Mass, he disappeared to visit over doughnuts in the Saint Mary’s Room. I didn’t feel up to making polite conversation where talk would inevitably turn to my future plans. Something I used to revel in sharing but was now not worth the air required to speak. So I slipped outside to the graveyard.

  It was brutally hot and muggy out there. The kind of steamy day when it’s hard to catch a breath. I wandered through the old stones, seeking cool under the dogwoods and maples. I traced the carvings of old tombstones, the coarse edges of the granite headstones comfortingly rough to my fingertips.

  Then you were out there with me.

  That was the first time I noticed the thin white scar lining your left eyebrow. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch it.

  I suppose seeing you that day, that way, well, that’s the kind of moment that backs up your talk of meant-to-be. But I could also argue it was simply me taking advantage of an opportunity.